InsaneJournal

Eight

            The first week was uneventful... well, aside from what had happened in James' cabin. The sail to the Hamptons was amazingly blissful. Andrew and Theodore had been teasing Tom about James' amazingly good mood. There was even a rumour going around that the Captain had been heard whistling one early morning on deck. The crew put it to the fact that James was back on the sea after so long, and everyone knew how the man loved to sail. They were more than happy to see their captain in high spirits. So during the second week, on their return home- when they caught sight of pirates, moral was so high, that not a single life had been lost. It was a triumph. The pirates in the brig, to be hanged in Port Royal, the men celebrating their victory. And Tom, Tom was happily among them. Singing and telling tales of the sea. As First Lieutenant, he had wanted to be with his Captain to celebrate, but had been shooed away because of paper work that had needed to be done before their return. But it had not dampened his spirits... and he hoped, that with the little gift he'd left James, his spirits were not dampened either. It was a small thing, but it had taken Tom two weeks to finish. He'd whittled it from a spare block. It was a little model ship... amazing detail taken into it. And on bottom the name 'Dauntless' was carved, and it was signed 'Tom'. He'd taken the other ship into memory, and since he knew its worth to James... he'd made the little model for him... so that she could always be with him where ever he went. His Dauntless.
            James never in his entire life imagined that such happiness was possible. Being at sea again was amazing in itself but being able to share this feeling with Tom was unbelievable. Every minute they spent together was another slice of Heaven and sometimes he almost felt drunk without a single drop of alcohol. He felt like a different man, a better man – all thanks to Tom. He couldn’t help but smile whenever he thought of that sweet name. It was almost as if the name itself held some magical power over him because it made his heart beat faster whenever he heard it spoken.
            The happiest moments were of course those they spent together in his cabin. Now that he tasted the sweet pleasure only a lover could give, he couldn’t get enough. He longed for Tom every minute of every day, but he was also content with just sitting together, one hand playing with Tom’s long hair, the other holding a book, or lying in each other’s arms silently, just enjoying the other’s closeness. Although James had to admit, Tom was not the silent type. He liked to talk, to tell stories, to sing – especially to sing. But James didn’t mind. He loved every little smile, every giggle, every twinkle in those beautiful eyes. He fell deeper and deeper with every second they were together but would not have stopped the fall even if he had known how.
            Yes, Tom had changed him. He had shown him what it meant to enjoy the moment without worrying about the future. He had shown James what it meant to live. Of course, two weeks were hardly enough to completely strangle that vicious voice in James’ mind that spoke of pain and separation but he tried his best not to listen, which wasn’t difficult when Tom was around, but as they came closer and closer to Port Royal that voice gained power and now and then haunted James in his lonely hours. Just like now, as he was sitting in his cabin, listening to the crew’s celebration and lovingly caressing the artistic contours of the model of the Dauntless that Tom had made him. He feared returning. Everything seemed so easy on the Interceptor and he didn’t want that to change. He wanted to keep this paradise.
            It was that moment Tom burst through the cabin door, grinning like a fool, face flushed from dancing about with the men, a little breathless.
            "The men want their Captain." He announced, "Teddy says, 'The man's the cause for such excitement, and yet he bores himself with legers.' If that's not a complaint, I don't know what is." He moved inside, shutting the door and moving to James' desk. "Come on, old man." He teased, though it was true that James often acted older than he was. He was in his prime after all, he should be enjoying it! Tom leaned down and gave him a lingering kiss before sitting on his desk, he noticed James holding the model he'd made, and his eyes brightened.
            "Do you like it?" He asked. He was such a puppy, he lived to please.
             “How do you always manage to come when bad mood is threatening me?” James smiled brightly back at his lover. He stood up from his chair and moved close to Tom, pulling him into a tight embrace, burying his face in the crook of his lover’s neck, breathing in his familiar scent.
            “I love you.” he murmured against the soft skin and kissed it teasingly. Then James let his lips travel their usual path up Tom’s neck to that hidden place behind his left ear that made him sigh, then along his jaw to his addictive lips. It was a soft kiss, not even a kiss, just a brush of hungry lips that promised so much more.
            “Yes.” he mumbled against Tom’s lips before losing himself in their kiss again. If it hadn’t been for Tom’s questioning look he probably wouldn’t have explained what he meant, but seeing those eyes filled with curiosity he pulled away a bit and with a huge, honest smile that was so unlike him, said: “Yes, I like it. It’s beautiful. I guess you know me better than anybody else. You managed to accomplish in two weeks what my family couldn’t in years…” Too late did he notice what he had said. His smile slowly faded and he was about to sit back in his chair, but instead he leaned close to Tom again.
            “Never mind.” His smile was nothing like it had been before but he did try, he really did. “Now, tell me, Tom, why exactly do you prefer being with a bunch of drunken sailors to being with me?” It was a miserable attempt at changing the subject, but at least he tried. Tom could never protest James' caresses, so he merely returned them. Loving moments like these made life worth living.
            "You don't have to be ashamed, James. No one's life is perfect. Hell, my sister was the only reason I ever came home on shore leave. After she died, I never had a reason to go back to England, still don't." His fingers were itching to take off James' wig, he loved how his lovely dark hair looked against his face. It made his amazingly green eyes stand out.
            "I love you too, you know. I think I always have... even before I knew you. It's the only way... I think fate meant us to be, James." He nuzzled against the other man's face. "I think we're two parts of a shooting star that fell to earth and split in two... and we found each other- without ever knowing we were searching." Ah, what a romantic the boy was. "And now that we're together... we'll never break apart again. Even in death, we'll be together. Not even the bigots of society can deny it... even the bible says love is God's greatest gift to man..." He sat back slightly, caressing the other man's face, and looking into his eyes as he recited 1 Corinthians to him.
            "If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." He smiled softly, his sister always loved to hear these words, so he had memorized them to speak to her. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." He brushed his lips over James' again before finishing, "Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
            “I wish people would understand this message.” James said after a long pause. “It would make this world a better place.” He smiled again and leaned in for another kiss. He didn’t know how many they have already shared since Tom entered, he had lost count, but he was sure they weren’t enough. He kissed Tom deeply this time, with growing passion, as his fingers were already working at the buttons of Tom’s clothes. “Now let’s see…” Kiss. “…if I can convince you…” Kiss. “…that I’m better company than those…” Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. “…sailors.” He said teasingly while already pushing down Tom’s coat. “I love you, Tom.” He mumbled against his lover’s neck, and then stopping for a moment, he almost solemnly added: “Even in death.”
            "You're not going to have much trouble convincing me, I fear..." He murmured, feeling a stirring in his breeches already. It was amazing, he was sure that if not needed to do other things, they would never manage to leave James' cabin. He was more than happy to rid his lover of his wig, and get his hands into those dark brown locks. It was so rich in colour, and soft to the touch. Unlike his own he was sure, having never worn a wig in his life. He'd never had the class to. Not that he minded, dreadful things they were. He paused to look into James' eyes as he spoke again, a soft smile coming to rest on his lips, love clear in his eyes.
            "You too, James. You know that though, don't you. You know my love for you is endless as the sea, even beyond any mortal map..." His fingers on James' clothing then, untying his cravat and absently setting it on the desk to work open the buttons of the other man's frock, saying a thankful prayer that jacket was already gone, one less layer to get rid of. He was sure the king should just declare everyone run about naked... but no, that wouldn't do... he didn't want to see *everybody* naked... just James...
            "Mmm..." He purred, mind getting ahead of himself at the thought of James stark bullock naked... "Is it bad that I'm picturing you naked even as I'm undressing you?" He asked, giggling softly.
            “Quite the opposite I think…” James couldn’t hold back a silent chuckle. “but why only imagine me naked if you can see me naked?” He asked pulling Tom’s shirt off and tossing it to the ground. “I am prepared to take the risk of sounding cliché but you’re wearing far too much clothing, Mr Pullings.” He said placing soft butterfly kisses on Tom’s exposed chest, letting his lips travel lower and lower till they reached his lover’s breeches. He slowly opened them as if he was unwrapping a present and without a second though placed an almost chaste kiss on Tom’s hard member. He knew he was blushing furiously as he came up for another deep, passionate kiss, but didn’t care. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. Not with Tom. That light touch to his nethers sent Tom’s head spinning.
            "Nngh..." He managed, slumping back against the table, hand knocking off several papers, a note book, and a compass in his flushed state. "I must point out..." He murmured into the kiss, "That you are wearing far more than I..." He said tugging off James' frock rather forcefully, and tugging his shirt up and over his head a second later.
            Long fingers quivering with excitement, he had a bit of trouble with the buttons of James' breeches, but once he's pushed them off James' hips, he was happy. So much so, that without a second thought he turned, untying his queue to let his hair free, as he knew James liked it that way, and bending himself over the desk, looking over his shoulder expectantly at James. Eagar was an understatement. It has been two and a half days since they've really made love... not rutting against each other, or hurried hand jobs.... really made love to each other. And it was obvious that Tom really rather wanted that, in fact, he stated it. Hair framing his face.
            "I need you inside me James..." He nearly begged, his face colouring as the words reached his ear, and he could not help but hide his face in embarrassment.
            “Ngh, Tom don’t… don’t say things like… that if you want me… to… to last more than a second, ok?” James managed to choke out as he pressed firmly against Tom, holding him close as he leaned towards the lamp oil on his desk. His breathing came in ragged gasps and his heart was beating so hard that he was sure Tom must feel it too. He quickly slicked his fingers and pushed it carefully inside his lover. He was eager and quite impatient himself but he still wanted to make sure not to hurt Tom, so he tried to ignore his lover’s impatient pleas and took his time, pushing in a second and third finger too before finally positioning himself at Tom’s entrance. But he still waited, first he didn’t know for what but then he realized what he was missing. He gently kissed Tom’s neck and whispered against his wet skin.
            “I want to see you, Tom. I want to drown in your eyes and your soul. Please…”
            Tom was worried when he didn't feel James enter him after his fingers had left. He wiggled back as if to say 'take me already!' But then James spoke and he understood. He would normally have seen the sweetness in this moment, and wanted to say something loving in return... but he just wanted James, and that was all he could manage to think about. He moved quickly, using his arm to swipe away anything that would be in his way before he turned, setting himself on the edge of James' desk. He grabbed James and pulled him close, attacking his mouth with a passionate kiss, before dropping himself back on the dark wood with a thump, eyes pleading for James to hurry.
            Tom loved the long tender nights they could have, holding it out for hours as they touched and kissed... but he was far too high on the excitement of capturing pirates, and admittedly a few drinks... He wanted to see if they could make the sturdy table shake with their lovemaking, wanted to feel James all the next day, and blush when he sat down... he didn't realize it, but he actually said so. He actually said the words he was thinking, how he wanted James to lose himself in him, how he wanted to feel him so deep inside him that James could extract his very soul.
            James felt how different this was from all the other nights they’ve spent together and especially from their first time. This was not about gentle, caring touches and sweet reassurances – this was raw passion. So he stifled his usual worrying self and with one hard push he was inside Tom, and hardly leaving him any time to get used to the intrusion he started thrusting in and out rhythmically. His left hand was almost painfully gripping at his lover’s hair while he ravished his mouth. His right hand was firmly gripping Tom’s hardness and he couldn’t even remember how it got there. Soon all coherent thought left him as he opened his eyes to look into Tom’s deep pools of eternity.
            He had never been a superstitious man but that moment he clearly felt how they were surrounded by some mysterious power. God. Calypso. Destiny. Or Love. It didn’t matter. But he felt it. He felt how this was exactly where they were supposed to be. This was the path that had been mapped out for them even before they met. Yes, this was part of a grander plan, he was sure of it. Nothing could come between them because they were what they were. Two men. In love. Melting in each other with each thrust, each sigh, each kiss, each drop of come as they found their release.
            It was everything he needed. The sharp thrusts that made his thigh quiver, the sharp pull of James hands in his hair, pulling his head back so that his mouth was open, with no defence to James' ravaging. The way he was shaken to his core each time his lover would pound into him, the strong calloused hand on his prick that kept him somewhere deep between pleasure and madness. It was nothing like it had been before, and it was good. More than good, it had him seeing stars and crying out in James' mouth. His eyes were dark and clouded with lust, his face flushed and lips swollen from kissing and glistening with spit. One hand draped over James' shoulder, occasionally tugging on his hair, the other grasping his ass, and attempting to pull him deeper with each thrust.
            This is what he needed ever so badly. He couldn't help but love every minute of it. Soon all thought left him, and his keening and pleading gave way to a single name, "James..." He whined it, and cried it, even gasped it a few times. He only managed a bit more as the pleasure pooling in the pit of his stomach overtook his senses. His vision going white a moment, eyes rolling back and body arching from the desk as he released, clenching around James. Eyes falling shut as his head dropped back onto the desk with a thump. His chest heaving for air, his heart pounding in his ears... his entire body throbbing. He could feel his thick seed against his stomach and chest, cooling, and it caused him to shiver. A smiling grin coming to his face. Like a cat who'd gotten the canary, so utterly pleased.