InsaneJournal

Eleven

            Mary had kicked James and Tom out of the kitchen, telling them they were eating in the dining room. She'd put up candles for them, and put out the nice dishes and the silverware. Making a romantic setting for the two men. She gave them port to start the meal, and some bread and cheese while they were waiting for dinner. In the kitchen though, it was a different story. There were kittens skittering around Mary's feet, playing and hoping for her to drop something for them. Mama, was in the corner on the pillow Mary had given her, happy to watch her babies run around. Mary had tried to make her kitchen presentable for Will, who she'd told to come around to the servant entrance when he could slip away from the smithy.

            She was making lamb tonight, with her secret sweet glazing, a light potato cream soup, and a small chocolate cake. And sides of course, with the lamb- assorted greens, fresh bread and butter, carrots and small potato rounds that'd soaked in butter and melted in one's mouth. She was still slaving over the cooker, the servant table set as well, simple but elegant with candles to dine by, hoping it would be to Will's liking.

            Tom was sipping happily at his wine, James would be able to stay tonight... and that was utterly wonderful. He made small talk, attempting to delve into James' mind... subtly. James was an amazingly smart man, he knew what he was talking about, and had a strong opinion on many subjects.

                James couldn’t have been happier. Just sitting at a table, waiting for the food that, he had no doubts, would be delicious, talking to Tom about nothing and everything, letting his knees lean against his lover’s and his fingers brush against the other’s hand. This was exactly what he needed after a long day at the fort and especially after his little chat with Governor Swann.  The old man kept talking and talking about James’ great victory and his own daughter, and how all Port Royal was talking of nothing else but their heroic Captain and how Elizabeth was thrilled too and how this victory might have been the one James had been waiting for so long, the one that would get him his promotion, which would be fantastic if he wanted to marry. James liked Weatherby Swann very much but this afternoon he could think of nothing but getting away as soon as possible and head to Tom’s house. He had been surprised to realize that not even the prospect of promotion could excite him very much. He just wanted to be with Tom. So now sitting here together was like Heaven. He could not imagine anything better than this – ok maybe he could but that would have to wait till after dinner.

            Of course James' promotion would mean a promotion for Tom to Captain- though there would be no celebration for it like there would be for James. Tom didn't care... well, actually, he did. Because being a captain would allow him to accept and dismiss posts. Which meant he had the ability to stay in Port Royal permanently, instead of being told to haul off somewhere else. It was an exciting idea.

            Will first hadn’t been keen on the idea of going to Tom’s house for dinner, it felt strange, as if he was some kind of thief, it just didn’t feel right to be there. But as soon as he saw Mary through the kitchen window, working on the food, he was quite happy that he had agreed to come. She was as beautiful as ever and Will couldn’t help the bright smile that spread on his lips as she caught him looking at her and came to let him in. Mary was more than happy to see Will at the door. She greeted him with a hug, and hopped up to press a kiss to his cheek.

            "Come in, come in!" She said brightly, ushering him to the table and making him sit. Kissing his cheek once more before cutting up some cheese for him to munch on while she started to put the soup in the tray to bring into the dining room, and set bowls of soup on their table as well. "You don't have to wait for me. I'll just be a second while I serve this..." She smiled, moving out of the kitchen then around to the dining room, serving them their first course, and moving back to the kitchen to join Will.

            While he was waiting for Mary to return to the kitchen, Will tried very hard not to think of anything but the undoubtedly delicious food and Mary’s eyes, but his mind just wouldn’t listen and always seemed to find its way into the dining room where James was. It felt strange to be so close to him and his lover. It hurt. It hurt almost as much as if he was there with them, watching their intimate gestures, which would lead to the bedroom as soon as dinner was over, he was sure of it.

            He sighed. Maybe he should just go. But something held him back. He couldn’t really name it but it had something to do with Mary. He wanted to be with her, to see her bright smile again. He suddenly felt something at his leg and realized it was a small kitten with amazing green eyes trying to get on his lap. He bent down and picked it up gently. He had never really liked cats, he found dogs more loyal, but this one captured his heart immediately.

            “How do you call him?” he asked Mary as she entered the kitchen. “Will you think me completely mad if I tell you that I seem to have just found a new friend in a kitten?” he added laughing.

            "Jamie..." Mary smiled, petting the kitten as she sat at the table. "I adore these little ones. They follow me about in the house and in the garden... I think Mama likes her time alone." She laughed softly, spreading the napkin over her lap, absently dipping a finger into the soup and bringing it over to the kitten to lick off. "Don't worry, you guys will get leftovers... I always save you some, don't go begging poor Will. Let him eat." Smiling blue eyes looked at the blacksmith, "You're too thin... I'm going to get some meat on your bones. So you better eat until you are full." She absently reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Will's ear. "Would it be alright if I brought you lunch tomorrow? I usually bring some down to the fort, and I thought... it would be easy enough to bring you a little something as well..."

             “You really are the mothering type, aren’t you?” Will smiled warmly at her. “But I’d love that. Not because of the food though. I mean… don’t get me wrong, if it comes to food I don’t think it can get better than what you make, but… I would like to see you regularly.” He said blushing and looking down at the kitten, who was still sitting on his lap. “Jamie, eh? I think I’ll have to be careful with you then, don’t I.” He said, smiling sadly, only realizing too late that once again he let his thoughts run into the other room. “I’m sorry, Mary. I didn’t mean to bring it up, I just… Never mind, let’s just eat, this looks amazing.”

            "Don't be sorry. Nothing in life is easy, Will..." She said softly, beginning to eat. She really did love food, though, throughout her life, had not chanced upon much of it. She'd learned how to cook in England, and then took up other ideas from natives, and soon just began to do her own thing. She knew what tasted well with what, and what different spices added to the flavour. She'd never owned a book of recipes, as she could not read. "I do like seeing you, Will. It is good to know I have a friend in a place I'm not used to. Perhaps next Sunday you might show me around? Or go exploring with me." She smiled, absently sipping from the glass of wine.

            “I’d love that. It’s a nice town with terrible inhabitants. But I don’t know this place very much either, I never really had time to wander around a lot. Mr Brown… I mean, the smithy where I work belongs to Mr Brown, he’s the one who snores loudly in the corner most of the time, just in case you come to see me there. Jamie convinced him to take me as his apprentice when I arrived here at Port Royal as a boy. His drinking wasn’t this bad back then, he needed to work after all – not that he did much of that anyway –, but since he realized I was quite good at it, he stopped working altogether and he’s basically drunk all day. Not a good man. But as long as I don’t have to drag him home from the tavern, I can’t complain. Of course that means I don’t have a lot of free time. So I’m afraid we can only go discover this place on Sundays, otherwise you’ll have to come to me if you wish to see me, I guess. I hope you will. But why am I talking so much?” he blushed.

            “I’m sorry, I tend to talk a lot when I’m nervous. Great. Now I admitted I’m nervous.” he chuckled nervously. “The food is great though. Where did you learn to cook? It’s amazing. I have a book with recipes, my mother loved books with recipes, even if she never had enough money to make any of the meals described. She had loads of recipes and used to read them by the fire in the evenings. She only ever read recipes and the Bible. When she died I wanted to keep something that belonged to her. I didn’t want the Bible, so I kept one of her books with recipes. You could borrow it if you like.”

            "It's okay... I like listening to you talk..." She smiled softly, eating rather delicately. Or attempting to at least, always trying to be elegant, even if not in the upper class. It didn't mean she had to spit like some of the other working girls she saw, or cuss, and laugh too loudly. "We're both workers, silly man. Sunday is my day off, just like the rest of the town. But I can always visit you at lunch. It's the one time that I have nothing to do. That moment where I've finished the first part of the day's work, and it's not yet time to start the even's work or dinner." She said absently, thinking about the cooking as Will spoke, smiling softly. "I really do love to cook, in England, the other workers used to say, 'Give her a stone and she'll turn it into soufflé.' " She laughed softly, then bit her lower lip as Will mentioned the cook book. "Oh... I... well that sounds lovely and all, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to read it..."

            “Oh. I’m sorry, I… didn’t mean to… I mean… I shouldn’t have assumed… my mother was very religious, the only reason she saw fit to learn to read was to be able to read the Bible, it made her feel closer to God. That’s why she made me learn how to read, too. But I’m afraid I never had much interest in the written text, especially not the Bible.” he smiled at her, trying to assure her that it was fine. He felt like a complete idiot. Why did he have to bring up that bloody book? “You don’t need that book anyway, your cooking is amazing, those recipes would be like cages for birds, you wouldn’t be able to fly.” Why did Mary’s eyes shine so bright? Were they always so beautiful or just in the dark at candle light? What do they look like when she’s in love? What do they look like when she’s angry? He found he wanted to know all that. Those eyes mesmerized him and he couldn’t escape their power. He leaned closer to Mary without even realizing it and closed the gap between their lips.

*

James and Tom had finished the first course and were waiting for Mary to bring the second. James felt already a bit restless, apparently it wasn’t such a good idea to pass the time with kissing. Now he couldn’t wait to get this dinner over with – it was delicious of course but somehow he was hungrier for something else. So he decided to ask Mary how much longer it would take. As he entered the kitchen the first thing he saw was Mary sitting at the table, her lips pressed against a man’s. It took him some time to realize who it was. It took him by surprise, of course, but he felt rather glad to see that Will apparently had found a better person to love. Mary was a wonderful girl and James found he very much liked the idea of her being with Will. He knew the right thing to do would be to leave but he did something completely different – maybe it was because of the wine, maybe he just spent too much time around the governor that day, but he found himself talking without really realizing what he was saying.

“I hope you’ll name your first child after me.” Yes, definitely too much time around Weatherby. Way too much. He knew it was a mistake even before he saw Will jump away from Mary, looking at him utterly shocked and breathing heavily. Will didn’t really know what made him more nervous, James’ presence or his comment about future children, but it didn’t matter. He muttered a “Thanks for the lovely dinner” to Mary and turned to leave. Mary was utterly shocked for a moment, but then moved quickly to catch hold of Will's hand.

"Yes, it could be a lovely dinner. But the thing is, it's not over yet. Sit back down, Will." She said, looking sharply at James, "Captain Norrington, I'll have you know that it is quite rude to barge into someone's kitchen. Out with you, the lamb is coming..."

She had never been a sharp tongued girl, but she found that she was rather protective of William already. Her little hand clutching his larger one, standing in front of the taller man as if to say 'You'll have to go through me to get him!'... which one had to admit, was probably a funny sight to see. "Shoo shoo, I'm sure the master is already wondering where you've got to."

Now that was not a good sign. James did not know Mary very much, but the way she said his name made him shudder in fear. Maybe she was not so different from Molly after all, especially if it was about protecting someone she cared about. And she seemed to care about Will. The thought made James smile as he made his way back to Tom. He would have to apologize to her and to Will, too. Tomorrow. With less of wine and less of the governor’s strange manners in his veins.

“Thank you.” Will muttered as James left the kitchen. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know what came over me.” He tried to laugh but it came out forced and sounded much more as if he was being strangled. “But… but maybe I should really go. I mean, he’s going to tell your master, he might not be happy with me being here with you. No, I guess he’s not that type. He would not throw me out. That’s something I would do.” He sighed. “What do you like in me, Mary? I’m not good at small talk, I can’t woe you properly, I embarrass you, and I get a panic attack as soon as James enters the room because I still love him. I… What do you see in me, Mary?”

"You didn't embarrass me Will, what would make you think that? There are a lot of people who can't read... workers anyhow..." She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close. "It just, saddened me that you made an attempt to give me something, even that being just a recipe… but I could not accept it, because I could not read it..." She could feel herself flushing again. "And even with James... I do not expect you to simply be over him... I never did... though we must do something about your running, I think I shall shackle your foot the table..." She teased smiling up at Will. "And really... who needs words? When actions speak louder..." She nuzzled against his chest, taking in the smell of hard work, fire, and metal... there was something soothing in it, oddly enough. "And I must say... you can't use master as an excuse to leave, because he doesn't hate you in the least, and would probably hand you the keys to this house if it were to bring him to your favour."

Will couldn’t voice his gratitude for her understanding so he just smiled at her warmly and let her serve the lamb. The rest of the evening went fairly well, they were talking and laughing a lot. But it was only after Mary had served the dessert too and had returned to the kitchen that Will found the courage to ask what has been on his mind for a long time.

“Would you like to… I mean if you don’t want to… I… of course I understand if you don’t want to… I would love to teach you to read…. if you want me to. Not that there’s anything wrong with not knowing how to read… I, myself, don’t read very often… I just thought… you know… Damn it! Sorry, normally I don’t swear, I just… shit… Sorry…” he sighed nervously. “It’s all your fault, you’re making me nervous. I don’t mean… Normally I’m more confident, you know. I mean, I’m nervous around you because… I like you… and I don’t want to screw… to mess it up.” 

Mary smiled, taking one of Will's hands with her smaller ones. "If you should see fit to take the time to teach me, I could never refuse the offer." There was a pause, and her face softened. "Will, you don't have to be so nervous around me. Honest. I don't- there is nothing special about me that you need to impress for. I like you just as you are. I want you to be yourself around me. Whatever that may be." She couldn't help but move over and wrap her arms around him. He was just too cute. He was like a little puppy that she wanted to take care of and cuddle close to in the chill of the night. Will held Mary for a long time before he pushed her away slightly so that he could look in her eyes.

“You are special, Mary. Because you have a heart.” he let his right hand travel downwards in the air, over Mary’s hear. He wouldn’t touch her, he just held his palm a couple of inches away from her dress, but it felt as if he was holding her heart in his palm. He felt closer to her than to anybody before. “I know it’s not mine yet, Mary. But you do have a heart to give, a heart I can hope to have one day in exchange for mine. That has never happened to me before. My father’s heart always belonged to the sea, and when he went away to follow her call, he took my mother’s heart with him too. There is Elizabeth, but she’s very much like my father was, longing for adventure and danger. And James… you know about James. With you, I know I can hope for more. And…” he didn’t know what he wanted to say, so instead just leaned down and kissed Mary again, smiling into the kiss. “I think I should really go now.” he said as he pulled away, his smile slowly fading as an uncomfortable thought found its way to his mind. Now that dessert was over, he had no doubts where Jamie’s first way would lead and he could definitely not bear the thought of being so close when they… no, he really had to go now.

“It was a lovely evening, Mary. And dinner was fantastic.” he was already at the door as he turned back suddenly. “I know, I’m running away again, aren’t I… I think I got that from Jamie. We used to spend a lot of time together, you know... How did Mr. Pullings manage to make him stand still? On second thought, I guess it’s better if I don’t know…” he let out a nervous chuckle. “I’d love to see you again tomorrow. Would you come with me for a walk, Mary?”

Mary smiled softly, she understood. She would not have made Will stay. "I would love to." She moved over to Will, moving to her tip-toes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Shall I meet you at the smithy?" She asked, absently tucking his hair behind his ears.

Will smiled and gently kissed Mary on the lips one last time. “Yes, I’ll be waiting for you there.” And then he left with a full stomach and a warm, hopeful heart.

*

Tom was entirely too full. Chatting away with James, he'd managed to put much more into his mouth than he'd normally. Now he was left leaning back in this chair, hands on his stomach- the way Jack used to do after a meal. Only Captain Aubrey had a round stomach to do so on. "I have had entirely too much..." He yawned softly, looking to James. "Mary is a fine cook, is she not?"

“Yes, she’s an excellent cook, I couldn’t eat more if I was paid to.” James said with a wide smile. “But…” he added leaning over the table. “I think I still want some dessert, Tom. What do you think?” He reached out and pulled Tom into a deep kiss. His hands were already impatient and were creeping under Tom’s shirt, greedy to feel skin. “We should take this to the bedroom, don’t you think?” James whispered against Tom’s lips, knowing too well that soon he would not be able to stop to get into the bedroom. Tom pushed James away, and got up from the table, absently working open his vest as he made his way out of the dining room, and then quickly towards the stairs.

"Come on James!" He called, before sprinting up the stairs and into his bedroom. Working on getting undressed as quickly as possible and flopping himself onto the bed. He frowned when James came in. "You're still dressed!" He gasped, "Come on. Off with those clothes!"

James was trying to get rid of his clothes as quickly as possible. At least he didn’t have to worry about his wig, he had left it downstairs, somehow it would have felt wrong to have it in the bedroom. It was in a way the symbol of all that kept him from being openly with Tom and it just wouldn’t do to have it close when they were together. As soon as James managed to get out of his clothes, he was all over Tom, kissing his chest, neck, face, every part he could reach. His hands were roaming over Tom’s body as if they were eager to explore a newly discovered piece of land, a land he wanted to claim his own and protect from preying eyes; a land he wanted to exploit and cherish and never let anybody see. A land he would own and belong to and protect with his life.

“How is it possible to love so much.” He whispered against Tom’s skin between kisses.

Tom could only smile, pulling James up to kiss him on the lips. Pausing as he heard Mary come up the stairs and walk past his room to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. He looked up at James then, looking into his eyes as long moment before attacking his mouth once more. He was amazed how he could go from virgin, to definitely not a virgin in little less than three weeks. It seemed unreal. But he most definitely wasn't complaining. God that man was amazing. Every part of him just... perfect. He could never get enough of him. He wondered if it would still be the same when they were old and fragile. If their passion would still be theirs... he imagined it would be.

James felt his need growing rapidly with every little flick of Tom’s playful tongue, with every little jerk of Tom’s beautiful body, with every little sigh from Tom’s soft lips. And when he could feel long fingers tracing invisible lines on his back, lower and lower, making him shiver in excitement, he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled away from Tom and gently turned his lover on his side, so that Tom was with his back to him. Immediately James’ lips were back on Tom’s neck and travelled down his back, while his hands softly caressed Tom’s chest, sometimes venturing lower, but never reaching their true destination, just teasing with the possibility.

Soon Tom was moaning keenly under his loving touches and though James would have loved to tease him more, he just couldn’t hold back any longer. He quickly reached for the lamp oil and slicked his fingers to prepare Tom while leaving soft kisses and playful bites on his lover’s neck. Yes, he was impatient, he needed to be inside Tom as soon as possible, they would have time tomorrow or next week for slow love making. They had all the time in the world. Right now he just wanted to melt into Tom and then fall asleep in his arms.

Tom's body welcomed James inside. As if it wanted him inside just as much as James wanted to be inside. Tom always felt so complete then, as if he and James were connected in a way that made them a whole entity. Tom moaned, one arm reaching around to pull James as close as possible, the other gripping the sheets. His sweat slicked skin glistening in the moonlight, the bedside lamp low... all that mattered was feeling James inside of him. The world always seemed to shrink into this moment. There was nothing beyond his bedroom door. They were the only things left in this world. Their love and pleasure together. Melting them into each other, and completing their star-crossed souls.

It felt like coming home when James finally pushed inside Tom, it was as if with that careful thrust of his hips he could push aside everything that could ever come between them, it was wonderful. It was needy but patient, fast and slow at the same time – his fingertips gliding down the gentle curve of Tom’s body, his lips pressed to that soft spot just behind Tom’s ear, his hard member hitting another hidden spot inside his lover’s body. It was amazing. And they were moving together as if nothing could ever part them again. And that moment James was sure, nothing ever could.

They were meant to be, even he, with all his worrying and panicking could see that. He could not promise forever, it was not in his power to do so, but right now the future didn’t matter. Only the now, only this moment, only this moan Tom let out as James’ hand finally closed around his hardness, only the unique taste of Tom’s skin on his tongue, only Tom’s long hair always getting in the way, only that hand pulling him closer, deeper, only Tom’s heart he could almost feel pounding against his own, only that last jerk of his hips in that one moment of complete bliss as he found his release.

Tom didn't want to move. Melted into a panting mass on the bed. God, every time was amazing. He didn't want to move... but the bed was wet... it would drive in crazy. But! He was prepared, clean bed clothes hidden under the bed just for this reason.

 "James... love..." He said softly, "I need to change the bed..." And wash up a little... he thought absently... for comfort reasons, of course...

James just smiled and although he really didn’t want to move, he got up and helped change the bed sheets. Soon they were in each other’s arms again, just content to be together and falling asleep to the sound of the other’s breathing.

The next morning James woke late to angry voices downstairs. First he didn’t really pay attention, he thought it was just Mary being angry with the kitten, so he just buried his head deeper in the crook of Tom’s neck and tried to get back to sleep. But then he recognised the voice and jerked upright immediately.

Elizabeth…