InsaneJournal

Fourteen

Pale green eyes watched people scurry about. It was too hot, too bright, and entirely too dirty. Everything seemed so alive... and almost cheerful. The young man couldn't help but cringe. He was a tall fellow, and handsome- though very awkward. He was formal to a fault. His back was stiff, as if he'd have a rod there instead of a spine. He bent only at the hips, or knees- and rarely at the waist. His arms curled ever so slightly to his front, careful not to let them hang idly at his side, but also careful not to allow them to swing with his steps. He seemed wholy unnatural and out of place in his own skin. Skin which was fair, and flawless- not a line on it. It was as if he was made of living stone. He had no bags, no belongings with him save what he wore, and two large pieces of gold. He was here to start a new life. Where his grave misfortunes might not be known, and in time- forgotten by even himself.

He had come to hate surprises, but this, at least was a pleasant one... In the form of a warm smile and bright blonde curls. He was being hugged... quite a strange thing. He'd never been hugged before, not even by his mother. He was not at all used to such a greeting, and found himself just standing there as he was talked to... or well, at. And suddenly he was being led away, and arm in his, Mary at his side. Was she speaking? Yes... her mouth was moving... he should be listening. Lodgings? Did he have them.

"No." He answered in an airy voice. Navy man... work... food... yes, he did need food. Bed? Yes, that would be nice... "If it would not at all be troubling you, Ma'am." Yes, still formal, he knew she'd given up on correcting him. After that, he's lost track of what she was saying once more. It was so dreadfully hot. He could feel his hair sweating from under his wig. He couldn't remember having been glad to see anyone before, but he was glad that Mary was here. He'd barely recognized her from the little princess she'd been. Unlike everyone else, she'd never mocked him- had always made it a rule to try her hardest to share his formality. He was two years her senior- and they had always shared one thing in common above all others, they had never really been children. He having been reared but a preacher and a man of science- wholly ignored by his mother. She had no family, and was forced to work herself to the bone at an early age. What a pair they had made, sitting in silence for long periods of time- saying everything without words. How he had missed her after his aunt died and she was sent away. He was not surprised though, that she had known who he was straight away... then again, she had remarked once- that in a crowd of a thousand twins, she should be able to pick him out by the way he stood. She had a basket in her arms, she was saying something about helping for a celebration dinner. And that she wouldn't mind if he wanted to join in the kitchen for supper at this person's home. He was not sure, but really- what harm could come of it? Aside that the kitchen was not at all his place... he hadn't even been in once since he was a child.

*

James was happy. Just a couple of months ago this sentence in itself would have made him laugh and question the sanity of anybody claiming such nonsense. But now he felt happy. And he had to thank Tom for that. For showing him that love was possible even for him. Yes, he James Norrington was in love and happy. What a strange feeling. Somehow the world seemed brighter and more colourful, just because Tom was at his side. The shadows of the past were still looming in the background but couldn’t taint every second of his life anymore.

They met every single day, even if only briefly and he spent the Saturday nights and Sundays at Tom’s house. It was better this way, Mary knew about them after all, so there was no need to hide from her. At Jamie’s house it wouldn’t have been so easy because of Molly. James trusted her of course, but he was unsure how she would react, so he rather kept his love for Tom secret and only spoke of him as of a friend, a wonderful friend. The fact that Will and Mary seemed to come closer to each other just added to James’ happiness. He had felt terrible for hurting Will by first rejecting him to protect him and then starting a relationship with Tom despite everything. So seeing Mary with Will was fantastic. She was a lovely girl, who could undoubtedly give much love to Will and James was happy to see how Will gradually opened up to her. Of course after his very unfortunate comment the other night he tried not to get involved in their relationship, but he did watch from far and felt content.

His only worry had been Elizabeth. He had been quite shocked when she found out about his relationship with Tom, and was scared of her reaction, but she surprised him. After she had returned to the house with Tom she had just flung her arms around James and had held him close for a long time.

“I’m so happy for you Jamie. I only wish… if I can help you two in anything, just tell me.” She had said and then playfully added “But… will you still stay my decoy fiancé or do I have to find someone else?” It was quite strange how she didn’t fuss about the matter and carried on as if nothing had happened. Everything stayed the same on the surface, she was seen at his side often and the rumours about their upcoming marriage didn’t disappear. Especially now that the news of James’ promotion spread. Everybody was excited and secretly they hoped for him to propose soon. Of course James knew nothing of these expectations and was just proud to become Commodore. After he had heard the news from a very excited Governor Swann, the first thing he did was going to Tom, dragging him into his office and drowning him in kisses.

They decided to have dinner at Tom’s house, but then changed it to James’ house, because he knew Molly would never forgive him for not letting her cook a celebration meal – she was angry enough already because he was spending so much time away. Of course he was a bit nervous now about introducing Tom to Molly, he desperately wanted them to get on. It took him quite some time to get ready because of his shaking fingers. But deep down he knew it would be alright. After all, he didn’t plan on telling her about Tom being his lover, he was only invited as his best friend so there was really nothing to worry about.

First James had only wanted to invite Tom, but then decided against it. They would have time enough to spend together after dinner, at least he hoped he could persuade Tom to stay for the night, but this important moment of his life had to be shared with his friends. All of them. He didn’t have a lot anyway. He had invited Will of course, Theo and Andrew, and Elizabeth – not her father, even if they were good friends, but he still couldn’t really invite the Governor to dine with such a mixed crowd, so he decided against inviting him too. He knew Mary would come to help Molly, who was terribly excited and running up and down the house like a nervous hen, she hadn’t had the possibility to show off her talents in the kitchen for a long time, no one ever came to visit James, especially not so many people at once. First she didn’t want Mary to come, she was actually quite offended when James had offered it, but then realized having a young girl around might not be such a bad thing and accepted the offer. James of course counted on dragging both of them out of the kitchen very soon so that they could join them at the table, they would protest of course, especially Molly, she would be outraged. But she was more of a mother to James than his real mother ever had been and he would not celebrate one of the most important days in his life without her. And he had the feeling that somewhere deep in her heart she knew that.

Molly wasn't the only one nervous. Mary was as well, she'd not served for a number of people in some time. She had to look well enough, of course. These were all people above her class, she didn't want to look like a simple girl. She didn't make herself up, or put it the effort she had when she and Will had last seen each other... she'd had to tighten the sides of her corset, for she'd lost weight, hardly eating or sleeping. But she put on a good show. Even if her eyes didn't sparkle, and her smile wasn't as honest as it had once been. Tom saw her for what she was- heartbroken. He imagined himself being much the same way had he and James ever grown apart.

Tom had put on his dress uniform... making sure the buttons were shiny. His hair pulled back carefully. He could hear Mary bustling around, and for a moment, he was sure he'd heard more than one set of foot steps. But was sure Mary was just working double time- it wasn't long until he heard her leave, knowing she'd be there ahead of time to meet Molly and start cooking. What he didn't know what that Blifil was now sleeping in her bed, resting before he too, would head to James' house, thtough to the servant entrance.

“Jamie, try not to be in my way.” Molly said about the 100^th time that day, pushing James out of her way. He had tried to help, just to keep himself from being nervous, but only managed to ruin a new tablecloth by spilling some sauce on it and to break a wine glass. After that he was angrily banned from the kitchen and had to wait in his own room trying to read a book until the first guests arrived. James finally managed to convince Tom not to arrive on time so as not to be the first of the guests – he didn’t care that no one would suspect anything, especially since no one came who they had to fear, so Tom had argued, still he didn’t want to risk anything, already too many knew of them as it were.

Will was the first to arrive and became very nervous when he realized it. James tried to talk to him but Will just stared at the ground and couldn’t look him in the eyes and it only got worse when James tried to ask him about Mary. They were both relieved when finally Theo and Andrew arrived, obviously together and obviously in very good mood already. Elizabeth came late as always, but she was very cheerful and seemed to have made it her sole purpose to cheer Will up. And despite his nervousness, James felt happy having all his friends in one place. Only Tom was missing now.

Tom had started playing with the kittens to kill time while waiting to leave... and had lost track of time all together. When he realized it, he had to force himself not to run to James' house... Mary had been pleased when Blifil had shown up, still looking a bit tired, but neat as always. The more she watched him stand in the corner, to be out of thier way, the more she began to feel bad for it. So she eventually made him go in with the rest of the guests. She introduced 'Mr.Blifil' as a fine gentleman from England, whose family she once worked for. And that was that. She took him from being awkward in the kitchen, to awkward in a more open space. He was a quiet young man, standing away from the rest of the people... and looking, as well as feeling very out of place with the colourful personalities. One might notice he looked a lot like a younger, more refined- and less fun, First Lieutenant... soon to be captain. It was just about then, said lieutenant burst through the door and over to the crowd, apologizing for being so terribly late... And then spotted, Blifil... he couldn't help but be stunned.

"Cousin?" He blinked, Blifil looking over to him. Then gave him a formal bow, to which Tom rolled his eyes. "And not changed a bit..." He wanted to find out why he was here... but it wasn't the time... this was James' night... so he had to have his attention centred on the lovely, lovely man. James couldn’t stop a wide grin from spreading on his lips as he saw Tom enter the room. He could barely stop himself from embracing him.

 “I’m glad you could come, Mr Pullings.” he said, making Elizabeth giggle softly, Will frown and Theo and Andrew share a knowing look. He really needn’t have worried abut pretences among these people but he couldn’t help it. He just wasn’t comfortable with so many people knowing about them. And of course Molly didn’t know, and he really didn’t want to break it to her tonight – NEVER would be the best option actually, he was scared of her reaction, how should he know that she wouldn’t hate him for his “unnatural” inclinations. Sure she loved him dearly but so had his brother and look how that turned out. Moreover there was this strange young man Mary had introduced earlier and James didn’t feel quite comfortable around him, Mr Blifil seemed to be too much like James used to be before Tom arrived in Port Royal – cold and completely absorbed in his own world – and James really didn’t want to be reminded of that.

Tom grinned brightly, and hugged James, then moving around to greet each person similarly. He hugged Elizabeth, Teddy, and Andrew. Only shook Will's hand, though giving him a friendly smile all the same. Blifil... he stood awkwardly in front of him for a moment, unsure of what exactly to do. Blifil would bow... he'd never been one for informalities... But the young man did someone surprising... He stepped forward in his stiff manner, and tentatively wrapped his arms around Tom. He didn't so much hug him, as just put his arms around him. Not bending or shifting for comfort as one does when hugging. Tom smiled softly at Blifil’s attempt, it had cost him dearly he was sure. He hugged Blifil back, holding him close for a moment, feeling the tension between then fade... though not disappear. Once parted again, Blifil nodded his head.

"It is a great pleasure to see you again, cousin. It brings me joy that you are well." He said, his voice was so airy... so breathy. Like he wasn't used to speaking at all, taking breaths at the wrongs times, not wanting to raise his voice more than barely above a whisper. Pale green eyes meeting Tom's happy blues, before looking over the scar on Tom's face. It was new to Blifil, though he made no comment on it. He could see Groves and Gillette out of the corner of his eye, looking at him and whispering. He felt out of place once more, and found himself gravitating to the only other person who looked as if they felt that way. A man probably about his age, with facial hair. He didn't look entirely plain... Will they were calling him. And the lady was Elizabeth, a handsome young woman- and the two other naval men were Theodore and Andrew... and the tall man, who commanded great authority without even trying- That was James Norrington, the scourge of Piracy, as he was known. He'd heard the name more than once before.

Will had tried to enjoy himself for James’ sake but it was extremely hard. Of course he had always hated great celebrations, but this could hardly be called a huge banquet. All the invited people were friendly and good company, he still felt uneasy. Elizabeth couldn’t cheer him up either and soon moved over to Theo and Andrew, laughing openly at their jokes. Of course James was talking to Tom in a corner and their every movement radiated love and comfort and… And not for the first time in his life Will felt lonely. But this time it was worse than ever because he knew that he had had a chance, a chance for happiness – maybe even love, one day. But he let it slip out of his hands – no, he pushed it away with all his strength. He could already feel his head aching and all he really wanted was to go home and try to forget that he was even alive.

But then he realized a young man standing close to him. A young man, who looked too much like a man Will was trying very hard not to hate and was failing miserably. He felt already negative feelings filling his heart towards the young man, even before they had even ha the chance of talking to each other. But then Will realized something else – the way the young man stood apart from everybody else, his posture and the way his eyes seemed to keep looking for something. And Will realized he was not the only one feeling out of place.

“I’m William Turner.” he said stepping closer “But everybody calls me Will.” He wasn’t good at small talk and knew nothing of what was expected in situations like that so he just tried to be nice. There was a moment where Blifil seemed honestly shocked. Even though his face did not change, it was his eyes that told everything. They were wide, surprise soon turning into unease... and then calming.

"Leonardo Blifil..." He stoke breathily, moving to bow- but then realizing that it would probably attract attention. He was still for a moment, staring at Will's tight hand, before he brought his own up to his chest, fidgeting his fingers nervously, before holding out his hand to Will. Offering a shake, though he looked unsure whether to do so or not. He was so obviously out of place with people, most laughed at him for it. And disliked him because of it.

Mary enjoyed Molly, they worked well together. They moved through the kitchen like a well oiled machine, each knowing what they had to do, and both doing it without getting in each other's way. Mary was singing, something she did every time she cooked. She didn't need a book, or measurements like most. She had that heart for cooking, she just knew instinctively what to do. Her cooking had been terrible lately, generally inedible. Tom had been doing most of the cooking, or having Mary bring food back from a tavern. But seeing Blifil today, James' promotion short at hand, and knowing that meant one for Tom as well... and the fact that Molly was a kind, and rather brilliant older woman... it had brightened her enough that she could cook. And cooking distracted her from the fact that Will was merely a room away. But that wouldn't last long, they'd still have to serve the food.

Molly was in her element, running up and down the kitchen, preparing everything to be just perfect for Jamie’s big day. She couldn’t have been happier. Her Jamie, finally Commodore. Work felt easy with Mary at her hand and they got on very well. She was a nice young girl and amazingly talented in the kitchen. But there was something about her that made Molly wonder. It took her quite some time to realize what it was and when she did it made her almost break a plate. Mary reminded her of Toby. She had the same sad smile that showed how she had had to suffer in the past, the same eyes that spoke of heartbreak… It took Molly’s breath away and made her heart hurt. It scared her that this young girl resembled her own son so much – not in her looks but in her behaviour – and it made Molly want to hold her and take care of her in the way only a mother could.

Will was trying very hard to maintain some sort of conversation with the strange young man but it proved very hard and he was secretly happy when Mrs Eidan announced that dinner was ready, it saved Will from a new experience of failure. They all sat down around the huge table. James sat at the head of the table of course with Tom on his right. Next to Tom were Theo and Andrew with Elizabeth between them, who was clearly enjoying their undivided attention. Opposite Andrew sat Blifil, on his right, opposite Elizabeth, sat Will. Soon the first course was served by Mary who was immediately forced to take her place at the table beside Will, who looked as if he wanted to run away or simply die on the spot. And James ran out into the kitchen to drag a clearly embarrassed, outraged but very proud Molly Eidan into the dining room and make her sit on his left, beside Mary.

Mary smiled softly, but her body was stiff as a board, and her eyes looked as if she was a cornered animal. She tried to talk here and there. So that her pain would go unnoticed, she put very little on her plate... and that very little stayed exactly where she'd put it. Her wine glass stayed full, her silverware unused. But it seemed Tom had noticed, so she made an effort to eat, and drink, halfway through dinner. Blifil on the other hand, was a hearty eater it seemed, that and he'd not had a good meal in nearly a month. He filled his plate, and had seconds. He was quiet, the entire time, contented with eating. Tom was over excited, and sound himself packing food in the side of his mouth to pipe in to a conversation here and there. Though each time he realized it, he would blush, finish was he was eating, and look at James and Molly apologetically.

Mary was having a terrible time, and she found herself shaking. It was so hard to sit by Will... When she finally risked a glance at him, it was all too much. She excused herself as politely as possible, and hurried into the kitchen and out the servant entrance- not getting very far before she fell to her knees and was quite sick. Loosing all her food, and then still heaving and retching when there was nothing left. She was trembling terribly, sobbing silently. She needed to get home, she wanted to leave this instant... but she couldn't find the will to get up at the moment. Just a moment, when she could breathe-

Molly had noticed that something was wrong with Mary and had tried to soothe her with placing a comforting hand on her back but Mary didn’t seem to notice. When she excused herself Molly got worried. Not many of the others seemed to have noticed Mary’s distress, the merry trio – Theo, Andrew and Elizabeth  - just kept on laughing and chatting happily as if nothing had happened, Jamie and Tom noticed but probably didn’t suspect much, and Mr Blifil seemed oblivious to anything but his food, or so it seemed to Molly. But Will. He was alert. His eyes were still fixed on the door where Mary had disappeared and it was quite obvious to Molly’s expert eyes that he was contemplating whether to run after her or not. So it was Will then. He broke Mary’s heart. Molly leaned over to Jamie and whispered in his ears

“Dessert is in the kitchen, I’ll be back before the guests are gone.” She quickly stood and ignoring Jamie’s questioning look went into the kitchen and after Mary. She hated leaving the guests there just like that but somehow she had the feeling that Mary needed her more right now. It took her quite some time to find Mary, her old legs weren’t used to running after all, but when she did, she gently took the sobbing Mary in her arms and just held her for a long time.

“There, there my dear… just let it out.” When Mary seemed to have calmed down a bit, Molly helped her to her feet but didn’t let go of her. “Come my dear, I’ll make you some tea in the kitchen. Don’t worry” she added quickly as she noticed that Mary tried to protest. “I won’t let William find you there. I’ll just make you a hot cup of tea and then we’ll ask your young friend, that Mr Blifil, to take you home.” Molly led her back to the house and made her sit down in a chair.

“He pushed you away, didn’t he? Did he find out something about you that he couldn’t live with?” Molly asked while preparing tea but glancing now and then at Mary. Then after a long pause she added “You don’t have to tell me anything, I won’t ask why you are acting as someone you are not. But I want you to know I’m here if you need me. And there is always place in my heart for one more son… or daughter.” And with that she turned to go back into the dining room.

"You... how... you know?" Mary choked on her tea, putting it quickly on the table, and bringing a hand to her chest as she coughed. She looked something between shock and disbelief. She was suddenly worried that if Molly could see through her, anyone could. She took a moment before adding, "Will... I told him straight away... I didn't want to lie to him... he... he seemed fine with it... and I thought... I was sure that he..." She felt tears welling in her eyes once more. "He doesn't want me anymore, now. Now that I've... I... I should have known better." She looked away, "They're all the same... just different forms... some people... some people are just meant to be alone..." She covered her face with her hands, leaning her elbows on the table. "I've learned to be lonely... I shouldn't have fallen so quickly... I... shouldn't have fallen at all." Molly was at her side in a second pulling her close once again.

“Don’t think so low of yourself, my dear. If you make yourself believe that you deserve loneliness, then you will be lonely because you won’t see the paths leading to happiness. I won’t pretend that everything will work out with William, I don’t know him well enough to see inside his soul. But you have to hope that not everything is what he seems. You at least should know that. And don’t worry about being discovered easily. I was lucky, I knew what I had to look for. You… you reminded me of… someone.” That moment James entered to look if he could find Molly and the promised dessert but when he saw Mary in Molly’s arms, still sobbing, he forgot all about food.

“What happened? Mary, are you… what happened…?” He was kneeling before her, trying to look in her eyes.

“Jamie Norrington, did I not ban you from my kitchen just this morning?” Molly quickly said as she sensed Mary’s discomfort. “I’ll bring the dessert in a second. Once you’re finished, ask that young gentleman, Mr Blifil, to come and escort Mary home. She’s fine just a bit tired, no need to worry about it. Now go…” she added basically pushing James out of the kitchen. Mary smiled softly after James, looking to Molly.

"He is a kind man." She stood slowly, still was shaky and lightheaded, she found that she had to sit once more. "Mrs. Eidan- please give him my thanks for his concern..." She said, just as Blifil came threw the door, James didn't have to tell him anything... he's seen... but he'd been eating, so he wasn't about to just get up and go after her. Definitely not proper. He stood there for a moment, opened and closed his mouth, before looking between the two. Finally eyes resting on Molly.

"I should take her home?" He asked her, stepping a little further into the kitchen, but not close to either of them. He paused again, "May we take some dessert home with us?" Mary couldn't help but roll her eyes,

"An endless pit, that man's stomach..." She murmured, "Blifil, I can make you something at home, don't bother Mrs. Eidan with it..." Blifil shook his head.

"N-no. I think you should rest..." He sounded as if he was sure he'd be scolded for the attempt to order Mary to do something. But then he remembered Mary was not the same as others... he didn't have to fear her. Molly just smiled and while preparing a little dessert for them to take home, she said,

“Your young friend is right, Mary. You should rest. And hope. Take care, my darling and remember, my door is always open for you.” She added placing a kiss on Mary’s forehead. Then she went into the dining room to serve the dessert.  

Blifil ended up carrying Mary home, she was just too tired and weak to make it. It was a good deal of effort on his part, having never done any real work in his life. But she was so amazingly light, and so lovely curled against him in sleep that he couldn't dream of complaining. He had never waited on anyone, but he did the best he could for Mary. Drawing her a bath, helping her out of her corset, and leaving her to soak- hoping it would calm her. When she called to him again, he came back and to find her in the night gown he'd set out for her, and looking worse for wear. He let her lean heavily on him, to her bedroom. Where he ended up sleeping in her bed as well. Holding her fragile form close, if only to soothe her.

He wasn't sure what it was... he had never really thought about anyone else... but he was worried about her. Perhaps it was that she had always been kind and understanding to him- or maybe it was her beauty- or perhaps it was her cooking. Either way... he felt the stir of an emotion, and that was something he'd not felt in a long, long time.

“Is everything alright with her?” James immediately asked as Molly entered the dining room again.

“Jamie, don’t worry, she’s in good hands and on her way home. But I will check on her tomorrow to see if she needed anything. Now sit back and try to act as a good host.” She placed the dessert on the table and sat back on her place.

Her eyes were on Will and her mind on Mary. They did make a lovely couple, but they were both broken and despite what they might believe two broken halves don’t make a whole. No. Two broken cups don’t magically transform into a whole when put together, they remain broken, just two broken cups telling tales of the past, unable to look into the future. They would have to find a way to repair themselves, to fight their own fears and insecurities before they could be there for each other.

The dinner ended soon after. Theo and Andrew were the first to leave, and no one doubted that they would visit an inn before falling into bed and soon Elizabeth’s carriage arrived too. Then Will quickly and rather awkwardly bid farewell to James and only slightly nodded to Tom and also turned to Molly to say goodbye.

“Thank you for the lovely dinner Mrs Eidan.” Then he turned to leave but suddenly looked back at Molly and silently asked. “Is she… I mean… Is everything alright with…” But then he blushed and ran quickly left without even waiting for a reply. Molly just shook her head and started to clear the table.

“Molly, is by any chance… the guestroom decent enough to… um… well… for Mr. Pullings to sleep there tonight?” James asked blushing terribly.

“Captain James Norrington – or should I say Commodore?” That was bad, Molly only ever used his full name when she was angry, but when she used his title that was REALLY bad. “How dare you suggest that at any given time the guestroom would not be decent enough to invite guests to stay there? For your information, young man, it is impeccable, as always… not that I imagine Mr Pullings will even get a glimpse of it.” and then she turned to Tom and gave her a warm smile “Goodnight, Tom. I hope you will come more often to visit.” she hugged him and then left a dumfounded Jamie behind.

Tom stared after he a long moment before bursting into laughter. He looked at James a moment before pouncing on him. And as always, the wig was the first to go, flung away- and Tom was already pulling at the other man's clothes, grinning wickedly at him.

"Teddy and Andrew let me borrow a book of theirs..." He purred, dropping to his knees in front of James. "It was very informative..." He stated, working at the front of the other man's breeches... and once out of the way, he wasted no time in taking exactly what he wanted. It was new to him, but he did his best not to let it show. Attempting to do it just like the book had said.

James couldn’t have been more surprised. He would never have imagined that Molly knew of and accepted such things, and especially that she knew of his feelings for Tom. He would have to ask her in the morning how she knew – but he couldn’t even properly finish the thought when suddenly his wig was being thrown away rather unceremoniously. He couldn’t yet get over the shock of Molly’s reaction when he felt Tom quickly removing his breeches. Little bits of what Tom had said were still trying to reach his mind when he felt something he had never even thought about before, something new and wonderful. He quickly looked down but seeing Tom on his knees before him… doing… oh God, wonderful things… he moaned out loudly and threw his head back. Oh dear… this was better than the dessert… But then he suddenly looked up when he heard an outraged cry from the kitchen door.

“Mr. Pullings, you may be my new honorary son, but I won’t endure this kind of behaviour in the dining room. Really, you are supposed to be responsible adults. Up with you two into the bedroom, there you can do whatever you want to. Shoo.” James quickly pulled up his breeches, took Tom’s hand and ran upstairs. Once in his room, he first just stared at Tom with a blank expression and then burst out laughing. Tom was blushing brightly, utterly ashamed.

"Okay... that was not supposed to happen..." He toed off his shoes and moved to the bed, dropping down on his stomach and hiding his face in the pillows- groaning. "Oh god, I'm so embarrassed..." He'd figured she'd be away for some time... with cleaning and such... gah! James moved on the bed, still grinning madly and curled up behind Tom.

 “How do you think I feel? Molly has been my mother for the last 8 years… but somehow I can’t bring myself to feel bad about it… I mean she acted wonderfully… she wasn’t even really shocked I think. Believe me, she’ll never even mention this… unless, of course, you do something particularly nasty, because then she’ll tease you with bringing this up again. In my case the ultimate embarrassment was when I tried to make a cake for her birthday… believe me, you don’t want to know.” Jamie said with a smile and started leaving soft kisses just behind Tom’s ears while his hand was already working at removing Tom’s shirt – a rather hopeless venture since he was partly lying on top of Tom, but somehow his hand couldn’t really understand that, so in the end he just pulled Tom’s shirt out of his breeches and pushed it up as much as possible and let his lips wander down Tom’s back, kissing and licking. All too soon he reached Tom’s breeches but wouldn’t stop. He pushed them down slowly to make way for his lips and tongue. He had no idea what he was doing but from the noises Tom was making it could only be something pleasurable – who needed books anyway? He rather trusted his intuition.

Tom definately didn't mind James on top of him... but when his lover began to kiss his way down his back- well he really couldn't complain about that either. Then the rest... that was... "Nnngh!" He moaned rather loudly, clutching at the bed.

"James... w-what are you doing?" It was so obscene, really... "Oh... heh..." He was panting already, wiggling his hips. He didn't know what to make of it. But it was definitely very, very... wonderful. Something he'd never in his wildest dreams, thought of... or thought of liking. Hell, had he'd been asked, he'd have been disgusted, he was sure... but this... this was more than he could have imagined...

“Honestly” James said crawling back on top of Tom “no idea… but apparently you liked it.” He was blushing terribly but couldn’t wipe the teasing smile off his face. He quickly pecked Tom’s lips and the next moment he was down there again, trying to get rid of Tom’s breeches finally. Once he was done he turned Tom to his back and now he was just in line with Tom’s hard member. James paused a bit and looked up at Tom. He was unsure what to do but then he just smiled and after an almost shy kiss on top of Tom’s member he just did it. Where did his bravery come from he found himself thinking. Was it his happiness about his promotion? Or that he didn’t have to lie to Molly anymore? Or simply that he loved Tom and felt completely at ease with him? James didn’t know and didn’t care. He quite enjoyed what he was doing actually, especially when he felt Tom’s fingers find their way to his hair. Yes, this was nice. More than nice. Definitely more than nice.

Tom was... well, whining. His toes curled, hands clenching and unclenching in James' hair. This was rather amazing... he was in total bliss. It was like too much, but not nearly enough. He was displeased with himself that it didn't take too long before he felt the heat pooling in his stomach. He frantically tugged on James' hair.

"James, James... stop... I'm going to... I... want you inside me first." He whimpered. Arching pitifully. "Oh, please... please Jamie, I need to feel you inside me..." He moaned, rolling his head to the side, consumed with passion. "Please..." He was begging for it, like a wanton whore. But he couldn't help it. He was completely weak under his lover's charms. James could do anything to him in moments like these, and Tom would thank him for it- and probably beg for more.

James stopped, but didn’t pull away completely, he quickly reached for the oil and pushed two slicked fingers inside his lover while leaving soft, teasing kisses on his member. It wasn’t enough to push him over the edge, only to make him moan and gasp even more desperately until James himself finally couldn’t take it anymore and after quickly preparing himself, pushed inside Tom. He leaned down for a long kiss as he fell into an even rhythm thrusting in and out of Tom’s tight, hot body. Oh, God… he could never get enough of this… of Tom…

Tom wrapped both legs and arms around James, unable to get close enough to him. He moved with James, already so terribly close- but doing all he could to last longer. He was being loud, he knew it. He was sure Mrs. Eidan would have to bop him over the head in the morning- for waking the neighbours. He couldn't help it though. Every thrust inside him, made him cry out. And every long pull outward, made him moan deeply. He was ashamed of himself when he lost control completely. Climaxing so profoundly that he saw stars. He hadn't even been touched... he came without a single touch from James, and he was blushing for it. Pleading with James to fill him, to mark him from the inside. He really did love that feeling- being filled with James' warmth. He was sure he kept a part of James deep inside him, even after they were finished and he'd cleaned himself... it felt as if James was still a part of him. That idea forced Tom over the edge a second time, again without a touch. It was ridiculous, and he was sure he was entirely to old to feel like a needy 16-year-old.

Of course it was all over too soon but James didn’t mind. It was simply amazing to hear Tom’s gasps and cries, to see him lose himself in ecstasy and to feel his release wash over him – and it pushed James over the edge too. If somebody had told him just a couple of months ago, he thought for the 100^th time that day, he would never have believed it. It was really unbelievable how just a few weeks with Tom could change his life so much, could change the way he looked at the world. Before, everything seemed dull and grey, but now the colours of the world seemed to come alive. The sky was bluer, the trees greener… all because of Tom and that addictive smile on his lips.

“Do you know how happy you make, Tom?” James asked silently after they cleaned up and he curler up behind Tom.

"If it's anywhere near as happy as you make me... I'll say rather endlessly happy." He breathed. He was still a moment, before reaching behind himself, and gently taking hold of James' soft member. He scooted back, and carefully pressed it into his body, sighing.

"I... I just what to feel you inside me a while longer..." He whispered, "Is that alright?"

James just kissed Tom’s neck and sighed contently. “I love you.” was all he said holding Tom with his arms like Tom held him with his body. It was enough. This moment. The way they breathed together. The way their hearts were beating together. It was perfect.

"I love you too. Always..." He yawned, curling his own arm around the arms that held him. He smiled softly, "Tomorrow, before I go... I would like to eat that leftover pie off of you." He said playfully, but definitely meant it. That hadn't come from a book, but from Teddy... who then got off track in wondering if James was a big as he thought he was- only to be smacked in the back of the head by Andrew.  Tom didn't say... he didn't want them to be jealous after all. If they knew how utterly perfect every little bit of James was, they may never speak to him again, being as he was one lucky son of a whore. He couldn't help but purr at that thought.

"Did you know you're perfect?" He said sleepily. "Every bit of you... your skin, that freckle on your arm, the hair on your chest, the curve of your hips, your feet... your hands, your eyes... your lips... your smiles..." He sighed heavily, "No wonder I fell in love with you the moment I saw you... you're a dream come true... you're the sort of man that was in fairy tales, the hero who always came to the rescue..." He giggled softly, "I have my own personal knight in shimmering armour." James chuckled softly into the crook of Tom’s neck.

“You’re such a liar.” He said biting down slightly on the perfect skin, just to tease a bit. “I like the pie idea though” he added with a grin. “But I’m afraid you’ll have to be the one to ask for the leftovers from Molly.” And he was true to his word the next morning when he was woken with kisses and soft touches. He didn’t move an inch, just grinned teasingly, while waiting if Tom would really go down to ask for the pie.

Tom pulled on James' shirt, which went to his knees. And then began to creep down the stairs and into the kitchen. It was like his own, personal, secret mission. Mrs. Eidan wasn't in the kitchen, so he carefully got himself a slice of pie, and crept from the kitchen. Only to see the one person he was trying to sneak by. He was like a child, quickly hiding the plate behind his back and attempting to shuffle away without letting her see the piece of sweetness.

“You could have asked, you know.” Molly said as she tried to hide a smile to look as threatening as possible which was quite difficult to do right now. “Just don’t smear everything on the sheets, I have to wash them after all.” She added stepping out of Tom’s way to let him pass. “Oh and Tom” she added without turning towards him “No need to worry about the neighbours, the only person who lives close enough is completely deaf.” And with that she entered the kitchen as if nothing had happened. Tom opened and closed his mouth several times before walking up the stairs in a daze. Once in the room, he sat at the edge of the bed, and blinked a moment.

"Mrs. Eidan is a witch, I'm sure of it! How does she always know everything? It's... it's... amazing... really...."

“I’m afraid we will never know.” James chuckled in the pillow, still sleepily. “I guess that’s one of those grand secrets of the universe no one will ever reveal. Just like we’ll never know how Jack always escapes the…” he suddenly stopped, realizing what he had said. He tried to act normally, as if nothing had happened, but of course he was failing miserably. “Never mind, you don’t know him.” he said sitting up, moving close to Tom, trying to distract him with kisses. “So… what exactly was your plan with this pie?”

Life wasn’t as bad after all, James decided. And even the evil little voice in James’ mind that had grown smaller and smaller in the last weeks was completely silent now as he made love to Tom again, and they couldn’t foresee the troubles that would come all too soon…